Tag Archives: #83

83. Whiten my teeth

Dear Weblog Superfans,

I don’t know why, but my teeth are not really white. Not really. I don’t drink coffee or much dark soda, which are the only two things I know that really stain teeth. My dad’s were sort of yellow, too, before he whitened them.

In any case, they’re not much whiter now. Those freakin White Strips hurt, man. Add that to the fact that I can’t remember to do anything for more than two days in a row, and there’s a recipe for a 101 Failure. I started on my latest kit about two weeks before the wedding, hoping to get through at least half of a box. Nope. No go. Every once in a while I start it again, thinking that that’s just Day 1 of the next half, but I never remember, and doing it for just one day doesn’t do a damn thing anyway. So slightly yellow teeth, you curse me. (Maybe I should get the manual…)

I have to get them at least one shade whiter, or else this is a bust… (at least in the literal terms of the goal, as stated in The List.)

Love,
msb

#58 — Try contact lenses again

Dear Weblog Superfans,

Here’s a story.

When I was seven, I was hopelessly gifted with normal eyesight. If my teacher were writing something on the blackboard, I saw it all the way from the back of the classroom. If I were reading a book, the words jumped sprightly off the page with the most mundane clarity. If I had to see something else or whatever, it happened. Etc.

But then I turned seven and a half. Continue reading

More detailed updates

Dear Weblog Superfans,

I must apologize — my last post was far too vague, and you all must feel like you know nothing about me and what I’ve been doing to finish these 101 things for the last few weeks. This is my attempt to fix that. What follows, thus, is a thing-by-thing discussion of whatever I might have made some progress on. Or at least attempted to make some progress on. Continue reading

5. Drink the engagement wine (and many, many more!)

Dear Weblog Superfans,

I did it. I completed an item from my list.

I know what you’re thinking: You just started three sentences in a row with the word “I.” To which I say: shut up.

You are also thinking: Oh, msb. How you torture us with your witty, engaging, flower-scented posts that accomplish nothing but the theft of a few moments of my short, short life. You disappear from blogdom for weeks, apparently abandoning the project to which you were so committed, and then you come back all of a sudden and expect us to believe you when you say you’ve completed something? I smell poppycock. Continue reading